21st May 2010. I am a loser. The day start with a nice waking up from the bed in B2.T1.1 hostel in Kedah Matriculation College. I pressed my alarm clock from 7am till i wake up fully at 8.30am. (God knows the attraction of bed in holidays with NO school, lectures and tutorial class. Daa)

I know that today is the day. The day i wish to know the result that coming out, but at the same time nervous. I wish that it is a yes, so that i am not in this place, doing chemistry lab report by group, and compulsory to join co-curricular activities to secure my marks to enter local universities. I hope that i will not have to repeat those things i did in MRSM, stressed by academics, having no rest and Daa...

It sounds stupid, but at the same time i hope it is a no. I am not hoping for leaving friends here, carrying books with n kg from my hostel to car AGAIN to go back home for another 10 hours journey, start all over again in a brand new environment and enrol once again, seeing new faces, make friends from zero.

I knew that i have the risk to receive a no. From that moment i fill in Dad and mum's salary, the moment at 11th March which i see an A for my Biology. Mummy tells me, it's so lucky to get matriculation already, leave some chances to others k?

(Okey, from this on it sounds a bit boastful.. I wanna say it out k)

I cried. I am a loser. I know. I didn't secure a scholarship with my 10A+ 1A SPM result, with my Best student award in MRSM. I can't do it. My friends with 7A+ getting it, with no direction or hopes in life getting it. I burst into tears talking to Mummy. I didn't hope so much for it but still, i cried.

I'm okey after that. I have to stand up. I am a loser for today. But i am sure i will win tomorrow. See me participating in Kakom 2010 in johor matriculation college, with 4.00 CGPA results in both PSPMs k. I will probably get a reward in biology or chemistry. Pray for me.

I gotta stand up.